Full transcript
00:01INT. PUPPY JAY’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM — MORNING
Puppy Jay’s eyes open. He sits up way too fast.
PUPPY JAY(panicked, raspy) Oh, where am I?
PUPPY JAY(yanks the blanket up) Where are my clothes?
PUPPY JAY(offended, whisper-yelling) And why are you filming me?
The Camera Guys don’t stop. They adjust focus like this is completely normal.
CAMERAGUY #1 We woke up here too…
CAMERAGUY #2 No idea why we’re here… Total blackout!
CAMERAGUY #3 But we’re professionals, we film first, remember later!
SFX: Puppy Jay’s stomach makes a dangerous gurgle.
PUPPY JAY(freezes) Oh no…
Puppy Jay bolts toward the bathroom like his dignity is on fire.
On the toilet sits a PAWRANTULA. Calm. Still. Watching Puppy Jay like this is his bathroom.
PUPPY JAY (screams)
The door swings shut behind them.
PUPPY JAY(horrified, whisper-yelling) Why is there a Pawrantula in my toilet?!
CAMERAGUY #1(laughing, still filming) I was gonna use the bathroom too… But… I suddenly don’t have to!
PUPPY JAY Do you remember anything?
CAMERAGUY #3 Last thing I remember we were filming a report about you for our Journalism College graduation project.
CAMERAGUY #1 Did we pass the exam?
CAMERAGUY #2 I hope…
PUPPY JAY YES! Wait… I remember! You have the footage, right? Maybe there are clues about what happened last night!
CAMERAGUY #3 Great idea! It should all be on this flash drive!
Camera Guy #1 holds up a flash drive like it’s a sacred artifact.
SKETCH — GRADUATION REPORT FOOTAGE
TITLE CARD: “MY NEW ROBOT ASSISTANT” — A SPECIAL REPORT BY VICKY LICKY
01:13INT. PUPPY JAY’S STUDIO — DAY
Vicky Licky stands in front of Puppy Jay’s studio setup, microphone in paw, perfectly composed. Puppy Jay stands next to her, grinning like he just invented electricity.
VICKY LICKY(reporter mode, crisp and clean) Vicky Licky here, with a special report. Since the retirement of the legendary Doxie Din, his younger brother Puppy Jay has faced an unprecedented challenge — running an entire video production… alone. So Puppy Jay — what’s the plan?
PUPPY JAY(leaning into the camera like a CEO on a TED talk) Look, at first I thought I could handle it without Din. But on the very first video I realized something. I can’t be the actor, the director, and the cameradog at the same time. It’s too much! Even for me… So I did what any genius would do — I got myself a Robot Assistant. On subscription!
VICKY LICKY On… subscription… Huh… Like salary
PUPPY JAY(completely unbothered) No-no! That’s completely different! It’s subscription. Monthly.
VICKY LICKY But why a robot? Why not just… hire someone?
PUPPY JAY He has SO many advantages. First — this guy does not sleep! While I’m out there… walking, eating, playing with my ball — he is editing videos.
VICKY LICKY(glancing over) But… technically he’s charging right now. Which is basically sleeping?
PUPPY JAY No-no! That’s completely different.
VICKY LICKY(dry, making a note) Fascinating! And how has that affected output quality?
PUPPY JAY Incredible! I look amazing in every video. Even more than usual…
Puppy Jay glances at the monitor. Freezes.
On screen: Puppy Jay’s face has been replaced by a CAT. Perfectly smooth. Seamless. The cat blinks.
PUPPY JAY(slowly turning to the Robot) Wait! What is that?
ROBOT(flat, informational) Cats receive 34% higher engagement than dogs across all major platforms. I have optimized your face for maximum viewership.
PUPPY JAY You replaced my FACE.
ROBOT Your previous face was underperforming.
PUPPY JAY(back to camera, recovering with a smile) We’re… still fine-tuning the creative vision!
03:11INT. PUPPY JAY’S STUDIO — DAY
Back in the studio. Puppy Jay sits across from the Robot, Vicky standing to the side.
PUPPY JAY(leaning toward Vicky, conspiratorially) Okay, but here’s the part I’m most excited about. You can ask the robot to scratch your belly… Any time! No HR forms. Just — (snaps fingers) — barely scratch on demand!
VICKY LICKY(blinks) That is certainly a priority…
PUPPY JAY(to Robot) Hey! Scratch my belly!
The Robot slowly turns its head toward Puppy Jay. It raises one finger. Specifically, the middle one.
ROBOT Belly scratching is available on the Premium Plus subscription tier. Would you like to upgrade your plan?
PUPPY JAY(to camera, smiling through pain) Oh, right, I forgot… Some features are just locked. (beat) Uh, it’s fine. I’m fine.
VICKY LICKY(steps forward, mic up — wrapping the report) Artificial intelligence and robotics have made remarkable strides in recent years. And watching this unfold today, I find myself asking a question I didn’t expect to ask — Will there come a day when reporters like me, camera crews like the ones filming this footage right now, are no longer needed?
Beat. She glances at the Robot. The Robot stares back, blinking.
VICKY LICKY Only time will tell! This was Vicky Licky — reporting for my Journalism College graduation project. (beat, quiet, almost to herself) I really hope we passed.
END OF REPORT FOOTAGE
BACK TO PRESENT — PUPPY JAY’S LIVING ROOM. Puppy Jay stares at the flash drive. Something clicks behind his eyes.
PUPPY JAY(suddenly) Wait, I remember now!
CAMERAGUY #1 So, did we pass the exam?
PUPPY JAY Yes, you passed! And then — you invited me to the bar to celebrate your graduation!
CAMERAGUY #2(relieved) We passed!
CAMERAGUY #3(quietly, emotional) I never doubted us!
Beat. They all just stand there for a moment, processing.
PUPPY JAY Is there more footage? There has to be more!
CAMERAGUY #1 This is flash drive number one… One… out of three.
PUPPY JAY Where are the other two?
CAMERAGUY #2(pause) No idea…
CAMERAGUY #3 We only woke up with this one.
PUPPY JAY How do you even LOSE footage?! What if there’s something out there that could ruin my reputation? I’m a YouTube star now!
CAMERAGUY #1 We’re professionals!
CAMERAGUY #2 We never lose footage!
CAMERAGUY #3 We lose flash drives… That’s different!
PUPPY JAY Guys, focus! There was a girl with you. Where is she? Maybe she has the flash drives.
CAMERAGUY #1(snapping back) Oh, right! That was Vicky Licky — the best reporter in our class!
CAMERAGUY #2 We may have left her at the bar.
CAMERAGUY #3(pause) We definitely left her at the bar.
CAMERAGUY #1 She’s not camera equipment… Camera equipment we never forget!
CAMERAGUY #2 Unless it’s a flash drive…
PUPPY JAY Okay, go now!
05:39INT. BAR — DAY
Puppy Jay and the Camera Guys push open the door. The bartender looks up. His eye twitches.
BARKTENDER(dead serious) I told you never come back to my bar!
PUPPY JAY(confused) Wait, what? Why? What did we do?
BARKTENDER What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO? Check Pawgram! The whole town is talking about it. I’ve been scrubbing your paw prints off my bar counter since 6 a.m.
Puppy Jay pulls out his phone. His face slowly falls.
PUPPY JAY(quietly) My paw prints? Oh no!
On screen: a series of clips — Puppy Jay dancing on the bar, Camera Guys forming a pyramid on a table, someone using a mop as a microphone stand.
PUPPY JAY(quietly) This is even worse than I thought!
CAMERAGUY #1(leaning in, genuinely impressed) Great footage though!
CAMERAGUY #2 Really solid camera work!
PUPPY JAY(genuinely) I’m really sorry! This is your place, your work! And we treated it like a playground! Those guys just graduated from college… and we may have gone a little overboard with the sparkling toilet water.
BARKTENDER(looks at Puppy Jay for a long moment) You know… Every dog who’s ever trashed this place told me it was someone else’s fault. You’re the first one who just… said sorry. (beat) Huh…
PUPPY JAY I’ll send you my robot! He’ll clean everything! As soon as I upgrade my subscription plan…
BARKTENDER(exhales, almost smiling) I can never stay angry for long. That’s probably why I’m a barkender. Look — despite everything… your little video went viral. You brought more customers in one night than I’ve had all month, so we’re even. And you left this here…
He slides a flash drive across the bar. It has a small “2” written on it in marker.
PUPPY JAY(eyes wide) No way! Flash drive number two! Now we’ll finally find out what happened!
PUPPY JAY(grabbing it) Thank you, Barktender! Oh… and by any chance… did we leave our friend here? Vicky Licky? Maybe she’s sleeping somewhere in the back?
BARKTENDER(flat) Seriously?
PUPPY JAY We’re leaving… Right now!
FLASH DRIVE #2 — BAR FOOTAGE
07:45INT. BAR — NIGHT
Puppy Jay and Vicky Licky sit at a table. Glasses in front of them. Both clearly a few drinks in.
PUPPY JAY Vicky, camera guys, you are incredible! I love you! Would you want to come work for me?
VICKY LICKY(surprised, excited) Wow! A real job? But… what about the robot?
PUPPY JAY Maybe someday robots will take the jobs of camera guys, reporters, even YouTube bloggers. But that day is definitely not today! He is nothing compared to you guys! Nothing!
VICKY LICKY(touched) You’re the best, Puppy Jay, you know that? Do you have some kind of plan?
PUPPY JAY Yes. I just came up with a new show. It’s going to be the world’s first Sunday Dog Talk Show! We’ll set the standard for the entire industry! And I already have the name…
Puppy Jay grabs a napkin and draws on it. He holds it up: “Sunday Puppy Jay”
VICKY LICKY Wow! Great name! But… Puppy Jay… I have a mortgage, I need a proper contract for at least one season.
PUPPY JAY You’ve got one… Actually — two seasons! Right away! What do you say?
Vicky and the Camera Guys cheer.
VICKY LICKY I say we start right now… I already have an idea for the first report. A Pawrantula!
PUPPY JAY(leaning in) A Pawrantula? My survivalist friend Bark Grylls mentioned something about them once… but I thought it was just a legend?
VICKY LICKY Oh, they’re very real… And I know exactly where to find one.
PUPPY JAY Wait, WHAT?!
VICKY LICKY We could go right now!
PUPPY JAY Let’s have one more drink, sign the contract and then go!
Puppy Jay looks over at the Camera Guys standing nearby, still filming.
PUPPY JAY Hey, why don’t you guys sit down with us?
CAMERAGUY #1 We’re professionals!
CAMERAGUY #2 In our line of work, you never stop filming…
CAMERAGUY #3 The moment you stop — someone else becomes the best!
PUPPY JAY That’s exactly why I love you guys!
END OF FLASH DRIVE #2 FOOTAGE
BACK TO PRESENT — BAR
PUPPY JAY(stunned) Wait, I hired all of you? For TWO seasons?!
CAMERAGUY #1 Looks like it…
CAMERAGUY #2 You were very enthusiastic!
CAMERAGUY #3 You may have cried a little…
PUPPY JAY One second guys. I need to use the bathroom.
10:26INT. BAR BATHROOM — DAY
Puppy Jay pushes open the bathroom door. He freezes.
PUPPY JAY AAAAA!
Beat. He takes a deep breath. Straightens up. Looks in the mirror.
PUPPY JAY(to himself) Okay, you’re Puppy Jay… You can do this.
He dials.
SHARK(crisp, formal) Hello, I’m listening.
PUPPY JAY(nervous) Hello, my brother Doxie Din gave me your number. He said you’re a financial shark.
SHARK(pleasantly formal) Oh, Puppy Jay, Doxie Din told me I’d be working with you now. Call me anytime — any financial question, big or small!
PUPPY JAY(nervous) So, how are my finances looking? On the YouTube channel?
SHARK Hmm, the channel took a hit when Din retired… He was the anchor! Viewership is down — tough road ahead! But creative content, controlled expenses — I’m confident you can turn it around.
PUPPY JAY About expenses… It appears I may have hired four dogs last night…
SHARK(pause) Four?
PUPPY JAY Four…
SHARK So your first move as CEO is a deficit budget… (beat) Risky! But I respect the risk.
PUPPY JAY What do I do now?
SHARK Two options: One, let them go, just pay severance.
PUPPY JAY No, I am a dog of my word! I promised them two seasons. What’s option two?
SHARK Find outside funding! Your viewers — they’ve been watching you and Din for years, right? Some of them genuinely care what happens to this channel. Ask them to become sponsors. People like to support things they believe in. Trust me — I’ve built a career on that.
PUPPY JAY Shark, that’s genius!
SHARK Thanks. But next time — call me BEFORE the decision. Otherwise option three unlocks.
PUPPY JAY Option three?
SHARK Bankruptcy! Good day, Puppy Jay.
PUPPY JAY Guys, Shark just gave me a brilliant idea. If you enjoyed the show — and you want it to keep going, keep getting better — you can actually help make that happen! Become a sponsor. You’ll get some amazing perks: early access to videos, ad-free viewing, a shoutout with your name, and a whole lot more. You can support us on Patreon — or right here on YouTube. It’s basically the same thing. QR codes are on screen, all links are in the description. Thank you so much!
CAMERAGUY #1 Puppy Jay… we’re really glad you’re not firing us.
CAMERAGUY #2 It’s our first day…
CAMERAGUY #3(quietly) That would be a record!
PUPPY JAY(suddenly) Guys, I think I just figured out what the Pawrantula was doing in my bathroom. (beat) We must have grabbed it by mistake and brought it home instead of Vicky Licky. Which means Vicky is still out there. In the Pawrantula’s place!
CAMERAGUY #1 Oh, no…
CAMERAGUY #2 We can’t lose our reporter…
CAMERAGUY #3(quietly) Again…
PUPPY JAY We need to go now!
13:25EXT. FOREST — DAY
Puppy Jay and the Camera Guys push through the trees. They stop. Vicky Licky is tied to a tree with spider web, completely calm, microphone still in paw.
VICKY LICKY(cheerful) Guys, you came back to save me!
PUPPY JAY Vicky Licky, we’ve been looking everywhere for you! Are you okay?!
VICKY LICKY Totally fine. I just woke up actually… Way too much sparkling toilet water.
PUPPY JAY We are so sorry! This is entirely our fault.
VICKY LICKY Oh, and I found this on me. A flash drive. Probably our Pawrantula report. We should watch it!
PUPPY JAY No, absolutely not! I need to address something important. As my new employees — you all signed an NDA. It’s in your contracts! Clause 7! Everything that happened last night… stays between us… Forever!
CAMERAGUY #1 Understood!
CAMERAGUY #2 We remember nothing…
CAMERAGUY #3 What flash drive?
VICKY LICKY(as Puppy Jay unties her) Wait, your employees? Do we have jobs?
PUPPY JAY Yes! Officially, as of today, you are the lead field reporter of new show Sunday Puppy Jay!
VICKY LICKY(beaming) Amazing! Best first day ever! (beat, looks around) But wait, where’s the Pawrantula?
PUPPY JAY In my bathroom…
VICKY LICKY(nodding slowly) The Pawrantula is in your bathroom?
PUPPY JAY Yes, in my bathroom…
14:55INT. PUPPY JAY’S APARTMENT — CONTINUOUS
SFX: Doxie Din singing down the hall.
Doxie Din walks down the hallway. He stops at the bathroom door. Pushes it open.
DOXIE DIN AAAAAAA!!!!!
Doxie Din runs away.
DOXIE DIN PUPPY JAY!
PUPPY JAY Oh no!
SUNDAY PUPPY JAY OUTRO JINGLE
POST-CREDITS — INT. BAR — NIGHT.
The bar is empty and quiet. A mop moves slowly across the floor.
Pull back — it’s the Robot. Methodically cleaning. Alone.
He stops. Turns toward the camera.
ROBOT(still cleaning, not looking up) You’re still here? According to my calculations, this is not the most optimal use of your time… Consider watching another Puppy Jay video or becoming a sponsor. All links are on screen!
Fade to black.