Full transcript
00:00IntroINT. UNDERGROUND POKER CLUB — NIGHT
Dim lights. Tense silence. Cards shuffle. The room holds its breath.
PUPPY JAY(serious, focused) One. Million. Dollars. (dramatic pause, then proudly) Everything’s at stake!
He slides all his chips into the center.
SFX: freeze frame. VHS PAUSE sound.
PUPPY JAY(V.O., calm) Wanna know how I ended up at that poker table… and where I got one million dollars? Let’s rewind!
JINGLE
00:15How We Got HereINT. STUDIO — LOW LIGHT
single spot on Puppy Jay.
PUPPY JAY(to camera, serious) It all started when we didn’t raise enough money to send our special reporter, Vicky Licky, to film the legendary interview with the legendary vampire — Count Barkula!
PUPPY JAY(darker) So… the interview was cancelled!
PUPPY JAY(beat, eyes widen slightly) But the way he reacted… It honestly terrified me!
FLASH TO BLACK — then a sudden dramatic zoom on Count Barkula in candlelight.
COUNT BARKULA(furious, fangs out) Puppy Jay… You think this is a joke?
COUNT BARKULA(rising, voice echoing) I already told all my friends: Anubark the Mummy, The Headless Pup, and even the Hound of Barkservilles… They were all promised my legendary interview! On your little channel…
COUNT BARKULA(deadly calm) Don’t disappoint me, Puppy Jay! I never speak threats… I make promises… And I never break them!
SMASH BACK TO PUPPY JAY IN STUDIO. Puppy Jay stares into camera, dead serious.
PUPPY JAY(leans forward) So I had no choice…
01:24INT. LOUVRE — NIGHT — QUICK MONTAGE
Puppy Jay in a ski mask, Mission Impossible-style. Laser beams. Security guards. He lifts a royal dog crown off a velvet pillow.
01:24INT. STUDIO — CUT BACK
PUPPY JAY(offended) What?! How could you even think that was me?
PUPPY JAY(drops voice) Of course I didn’t rob the Louvre Museum in Paris… I did something even more reckless…
PUPPY JAY(sighs) I went to the Paw Credit Bank to ask for a loan…
JINGLE
01:42Too Risky to LendINT. PAW CREDIT BANK — DAY
SFX: STAMP SLAMS PAPER.
BANK CLERK(flat, rehearsed) Mister Puppy Jay… Your loan request has been — DENIED.
PUPPY JAY(shocked) What?! But this is literally a matter of life and death!
BANK CLERK(still monotone) Exactly! You subject your life to risk far too often… The Paw Credit Bank has determined you to be a high-risk borrower.
PUPPY JAY High risk?! I’m just a small dog with big dreams!
BANK CLERK(handing brochure) I’m sorry… But I can offer you a retirement account that earns 0.1% interest in kibble points!
PUPPY JAY(dead inside) No, thank you! If I don’t get the money today, I won’t live long enough to retire! You’ve basically fed me… to a vampire!
02:27EXT. BANK — MOMENTS LATER
Puppy Jay steps outside, slumped. A security guard leans in from the side.
BANK CLERK(from inside, handing a new form) I’m sorry… Next!
02:45The Shady OfferINT. STUDIO
NIGHT SET, LOW LIGHT. Puppy Jay sits at his desk, backlit, pacing slightly. He talks straight to camera.
PUPPY JAY(under breath) At that moment, I couldn’t think about anything… except maybe getting to the store in time to buy garlic, wooden stakes, holy water… whatever might help me not get eaten tonight!
PUPPY JAY(beat, turns slightly) But then…
SECURITY GUARD(low voice) Psst… Hey. You bro?
PUPPY JAY(wary) …Yes?
SECURITY GUARD Heard you couldn’t get a loan…
PUPPY JAY(sighing) Yeah. Apparently, I’m “too risky.”
SECURITY GUARD(grins) Well… maybe that risk could finally pay off.
PUPPY JAY(squints) Wait… What? Are you about to offer me money?
SECURITY GUARD(chuckles) Nope. Ha ha ha ha. But I am offering you a seat at the table. Poker game. Big stakes.
PUPPY JAY(beat) That sounds… extremely shady! My financial advisor, Shark, always told me to stay far away from this kind of stuff…
SECURITY GUARD I heard you say it’s a matter of life and death… So if you change your mind — Midnight. Iron door. Knock twice. Say: “Paws and Bones.”
03:43INT. STUDIO — NIGHT SET
Puppy Jay walks slowly across the frame, thoughtful.
PUPPY JAY(to camera) At that point, I wasn’t even considering the poker game! Not seriously. So I called Shark… to weigh my options.
03:54Shark’s Hard TruthsINT. PHONE CALL
SPLIT SCREEN: PUPPY JAY & SHARK. Puppy Jay on one side with phone to his ear. Shark on the other, lounging with sunglasses, a tropical drink, and a calculator.
PUPPY JAY Hey Shark! Long time no bark!
SHARK(grinning) Hello, Puppy Jay! Still full of ideas and financially unstable, I see. What’s the crisis this time?
PUPPY JAY You probably already know… We only got 48 out of 100 Sponsors we need to send Vicky Licky to interview Count Barkula! So I tried to get a loan — but the Paw Credit Bank rejected me! They said I’m a “high-risk borrower.” What does that even mean?
SHARK Simple. You regularly put yourself in danger. You’ve flown across the world using helium balloons, summoned a ghost named Pumpkin Juice… And let’s not forget — the new sheriff launched a criminal investigation against you after you crossed her live on air. And that’s just a tiny fraction of the chaos you’ve caused in Season One of Sunday Puppy Jay. From a bank’s perspective, there’s a high chance something might happen to you… and you won’t be able to pay the loan back.
PUPPY JAY Oh no! So how do I fix my reputation with the bank?
SHARK Well — first, stop risking your life. Then get a stable income, pay small debts on time, open an investment account, buy some stocks, gold, maybe a few bitcoins. The bank will see you as a reliable client — and one day, they’ll gladly fund your ambitious projects.
PUPPY JAY Ugh — that’s gonna take forever! Isn’t there a faster way to get a lot of money?
SHARK Unfortunately for you — every fast option comes with extreme risk. If I were you, I’d cancel that interview and avoid taking on any new debt.
PUPPY JAY But Count Barkula… his fangs are literally hovering over my neck!
SHARK Then maybe you should lie low for a while… Garlic up your apartment, don’t open the door to anyone, and above all — do not invite Count Barkula inside.
05:41INT. STUDIO — LOW LIGHT
Puppy Jay sits alone. One spotlight. Music fades.
PUPPY JAY(quiet, to camera) At that moment I was at rock bottom…
PUPPY JAY(beat, softer) But then I thought… Shark is a great financial advisor! But he only sees numbers! And when a vampire is coming for your neck — you need a second opinion. An alternative one. Paid, of course… So I called Professor Pawstradamus!
06:06Stars Say “Bet”INT. STUDIO — LIGHTS FLICKER MYSTICALLY
SFX: celestial chime. Phone ringing. Wind chimes. Possibly a goat bleat.
PAWSTRADAMUS Puppy Jay… The constellations have spoken — about you! Their wisdom drips like candle wax… dangerously hot, and hard to ignore!
PAWSTRADAMUS This month, the Moon embraces Fortuna — just for you! And luck wags its tail in your direction. But be warned — even the stars have a credit limit. Don’t max it out too soon!
PAWSTRADAMUS(closing words) And thus the cosmic wisdom closes! Let no pup say they were not warned… Spend with vision or vanish in discount fog!
PUPPY JAY The stars had promised me magical luck. And in that moment… I thought I knew exactly what I had to do!
JINGLE
06:56The Pawker FaceEXT. IRON DOOR — NIGHT
Puppy Jay stands in front of a door with a tiny window. A metal slot slides open. The security guard peeks out.
SECURITY GUARD Password…
PUPPY JAY Are you kidding? You told me to come here at midnight!
SECURITY GUARD(shrugs) Just doing my job… Password.
PUPPY JAY(sighs) Ugh… Paws and Bones!
SECURITY GUARD Correct.
SFX: heavy metal door creaks open.
07:14INT. UNDERGROUND POKER ROOM — NIGHT
Puppy Jay hops up to the table. Cards shuffle. Smoky light.
IVAN SHARIKOV(impressed) Ha ha! A new player! That could be dangerous… Beginner’s luck is very real.
PUPPY JAY Yep-yep-yep! Beginner’s luck!
IVAN SHARIKOV You know the rules?
PUPPY JAY I watched a couple tutorials on YouTube.
IVAN SHARIKOV Then let’s begin!
MONTAGE — cards, wins, chips piling up.
IVAN SHARIKOV(off-screen) I’ve never seen such a lucky player…
07:52INT. STUDIO — LOW LIGHT
Puppy Jay facing camera.
PUPPY JAY(proud) The stars didn’t lie! That night, I really was lucky! So lucky… I didn’t even notice I’d won one million dollars! Enough not just for the interview — but to fund my show for at least five seasons!
PUPPY JAY(beat, serious) And that’s when I made a mistake…
BACK TO POKER ROOM. Puppy Jay pushes all his chips forward.
PUPPY JAY(serious, focused) One. Million. Dollars. (dramatic pause, then proudly) Everything’s at stake!
PUPPY JAY Full House Plus!
SFX: cards flip. Dramatic sting. Sharikov reveals a monster hand — 10, J, Q, K, A, all of one suit. Puppy Jay’s face collapses.
IVAN SHARIKOV Royal flush, ha ha ha! You lost, kid!
PUPPY JAY(screaming) That’s almost impossible!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
IVAN SHARIKOV You can’t build a fortune on luck alone!
PUPPY JAY(sniffling) I lost everything… I don’t even have enough for garlic…
IVAN SHARIKOV(confused) Garlic? You know that’s toxic to dogs, right?
PUPPY JAY Yeah… But without that money, a legendary vampire — Count Barkula — is coming for me! I need some kind of protection…
IVAN SHARIKOV(laughs) Ha ha ha. You’re a strange little mutt! I like you! Come to my office in the morning — Paw Credit Bank. Tell security… you’re here to see Ivan Sharikov!
JINGLE
09:17Woofisto’s Hot TipEXT. PAW CREDIT BANK — MORNING
Puppy Jay approaches the bank entrance. Suddenly — a shadow flickers. Smoke. WOOFISTO appears from behind a column.
WOOFISTO(grinning) Well, well, well… Look who came crawling back… The tiny dachshund begging for a loan!
PUPPY JAY(dry) Oh, it’s you. Pupisto, right?
WOOFISTO(furious) ARRRGH!! For the last time — It’s WOOFISTO! My name is WOOFISTO!
PUPPY JAY(mock-innocent) Right, right. Totally got it this time!
WOOFISTO(smooths himself) Before you make a terrible mistake — let me offer you a deal! Your soul — in exchange for any amount of money you desire.
PUPPY JAY Not interested!
WOOFISTO(leans closer) Think carefully… My terms are far better than what you’ll find in these… disgusting banks!
PUPPY JAY I’d rather be vampire breakfast than sell my soul to some discount Halloween villain like you!
WOOFISTO(dark chuckle) Rude… I’ll be seeing you again, Puppy Jay… Very soon…
Woofisto vanishes in a puff of smoke. Puppy Jay walks toward the bank doors.
JINGLE
10:29“Go Sniff Yourself”INT. PAW CREDIT BANK — EXECUTIVE OFFICE
Puppy Jay steps into a luxurious, slightly intimidating office. Ivan Sharikov is already seated.
IVAN SHARIKOV Ha! I did my homework on you, Puppy Jay! Even watched a few episodes of your show — talented!
PUPPY JAY Uh… thanks… Do you work here? Nice office!
IVAN SHARIKOV I’m Ivan Sharikov — owner of this bank.
PUPPY JAY Whoa! So… you wanna invest in my project?
IVAN SHARIKOV(gruff) Brrr… Not so fast! I need to know you can pay me back… It’s not a small amount! And clearly, you didn’t have the brains to walk away when you beat me for half a million!
PUPPY JAY Actually… it was a full million…
IVAN SHARIKOV(raises a brow) And what do you have now?
PUPPY JAY Nothing…
IVAN SHARIKOV Emergency stash?
PUPPY JAY None…
IVAN SHARIKOV(sighs, stands, walks around the desk) See, when you win a million — even a dumb mutt should know what to do! You stock up on kibble for 25 years! You get indestructible toys! Vet fund, check! Then you throw the rest in the system: stocks, gold, crypto. (moves closer) And that — puts you at a level I call: Go sniff yourself!
IVAN SHARIKOV Someone asks you for something? Go sniff yourself! Bad brand deal? Go sniff yourself! They try to cancel you? Go sniff yourself! You don’t need anyone. Not me. Not this bank. (point-blank) You at that level?
PUPPY JAY(quietly) …No.
IVAN SHARIKOV Then tell me — how do you plan to repay me?
PUPPY JAY I have a deal… An interview with the legendary vampire — Count Barkula. If I get the funds now, I can make it happen! It’ll go viral. Blow up the internet. Take my show to the next level — and I’ll pay back every cent!
IVAN SHARIKOV(dead serious) If I give you the money and you don’t pay me back — no rules! You don’t get to say “Go sniff yourself” ever again! And unlike that vampire — me and my guys don’t need an invitation. We’ll just kick the door in! Do you understand how serious this is?
PUPPY JAY(small voice) I understand…
Ivan picks up a phone and speaks in Russian.
IVAN SHARIKOV(on the phone, in Russian) [Speak Russian]
SFX: phone clunk. He hangs up.
IVAN SHARIKOV(to Puppy Jay) So tell me… what would you like to say to me right now?
PUPPY JAY(smirking) Go sniff yourself…
IVAN SHARIKOV(grinning) Ha ha ha… Good mutt!
JINGLE
13:19Final BarkINT. STUDIO — NIGHT
Puppy Jay sits alone, dim light, a dramatic shadow across his face.
PUPPY JAY(to camera, dead serious) That was… humiliating. Deeply… But it was worth it!
PUPPY JAY(beat, then smirks slightly) Because the interview with Count Barkula is officially happening!
PUPPY JAY(brightening) My special correspondent, Vicky Licky, is already en route to Romania!
PUPPY JAY(leans closer) But everything has a price! Now I owe Ivan Sharikov a LOT of money! So our sponsor counter is back to zero! We need 100 new sponsors. Again! But hey — we’ve done it before! Well… almost half of it.
PUPPY JAY(beat) And guess what? This week, three of you already joined! Huge thanks to Sandra T., Campion D. and Roxy P! Your support means the world — and maybe even saved mine! That puts us at 3 out of 100! Still a long way to go, but now at least we’re started!
PUPPY JAY(hopeful) So if you enjoy the show — support me! QR codes are on the screen, links are in the description!
PUPPY JAY(grins) Let’s pay off that debt before that scary Ivan starts charging me… in teeth!
PUPPY JAY(weak laugh) And don’t forget to send your pet videos to my email — they might show up in the next episode!
PUPPY JAY(genuine) My name is Puppy Jay, and I’ll see you next Sunday!
14:47Post-Credits
FINAL JINGLE
POST-CREDIT SCENE.
WOOFISTO(off-screen) You played your part well, Sharikov.
Woofisto steps into frame from the shadows.
IVAN SHARIKOV(calmly, not even turning around) I always do. But tell me something — what’s your deal with that Puppy Jay kid anyway? He’s just a mutt. A loud, stubborn, unlucky mutt! But he works hard!
WOOFISTO(sharply) That’s none of your concern! I pay you to execute, not ask questions!
IVAN SHARIKOV(finally turns, cold grin) Really? Well here’s something for free…
IVAN SHARIKOV(deadpan) Go sniff yourself!
SFX: sudden silence. Woofisto’s eyes glow. A growl rising.
WOOFISTO(growling) Once I fulfill the ancient prophecy — no one will ever speak to me like that again! And you — you’ll be the first to regret it! Banker!
15:39Fan Love
VIEWER #1 I love Puppy Jay!
VIEWER #2 I love Puppy Jay!